Why My Mom Went to My Friend’s Funeral - And Not the Other Way Around

A brief walk through death, exercise, and the strange ways our bodies keep us alive

It’s about walking, funerals, signaling compounds myokines, and why it matters that we move. Some of it is morbid. Some of it might be helpful. Because while you’re alive you can turn your ship around at any age, just like my mom did.

You may already know this, but I thought I’d write it out anyway. It came up while I was sending a voice message, while slow jogging, to my friend Helen. She’s on the other side of the world and one of those people I send long letters to (via the fastest vessel available these days: HMS WhatsApp).

Yeah, my slow jogs are slow enough to be my thinking and “writing” time. By the way, don’t you agree that walking or slow jogging just helps to work things out?

The Funeral

Helen’s probably got things under control. She frequently tells me about the HIIT classes in the park or how relaxed she feels after yoga… But I still had to say this out loud. Because I worry about my friends.

You probably have it under control too—after all, you’re here, checking out our little cult, trying to see if you want to dip your toes a bit more 😉.

So here’s what I told Helen. And what I want to tell you.

The other day my mom told me that she walked to my friend Maka’s funeral. And it struck me, to be a bit morbid, and to criminally oversimplify, that this might be why she was the one going to my friend’s funeral, and not the other way around.

I never could have imagined it. My friend was only 14 years older than me.

My mother… well, she’s old enough to be my mother. Let’s leave it at that. 😉

Movement, Or Not

My mom started exercising a few years ago. I introduced her to the best and simplest things I knew at the time. But the spark came from her older cousin, who still moves “like a teenager,” as she put it.

His secret? He’s exercised every day for an hour since he turned 40.

Sadly, my dad didn’t. He hiked a bit with us, and he went to the pool every day when they were on holiday. (Side note: I wish he’d just stayed on holiday for the rest of his life instead of going back to his idiotic university. If he just kept on swimming, he would have been fine. That’s what I’d like to imagine.)

But like I said in a recent video: doing the sports you love, and expecting that to be enough to keep you fit, is a big ask. You need a bit of extra oomph.

And Maka, my friend, well, she didn’t exercise at all. No oversimplification there.

So yeah.

Exercise and death… negative correlation, if done right. (And not overdone like those super-fit types I sometimes mention, the ones edging ever closer to the morgue in the name of optimization and peak performance. You, life-long athletes and everyone else who will listen: maximum performance does not equal maximum longevity!) Everything in moderation.

Muscles Aren’t Just for Moving

One thing I’ve learned through my fitness pursuits: muscles aren’t just dumb mechanical actuators. They talk to the rest of your body through chemical messengers called myokines.

These myokines travel around, whispering instructions to organs, tissues, even immune cells.

Some early research suggests that certain myokines can tell rogue or precancerous cells to self-destruct.

I imagine this is happening all over the body—to all kinds of cells that are pondering high treason.

There’s not a ton of research yet. But what we’ve seen so far is weird and wonderful.

And You May Already Know Where This Is Going

This is when I told Helen about isometrics.

Don’t want to drone on about them here. You can check them out on my channel. That’s the easy way to find out about them, because you’re not gonna see much about them on YouTube. It’s not trending. It’s the best kept secret. But they’re super easy to do and ridiculously beneficial. Honestly, kind of a great hack. You don’t need a gym for muscle strength. Bruce Lee was doing them and his sessions were 90 seconds. Mine are three minutes, but of course, I’m no Bruce Lee.

That’s all I wanted to say today. Just this.

Because I worry about my friends.

Because I want them to take care of their bodies.

Because their bodies matter to them.

And they matter to me.

Got a friend you’d like to see moving? Would like to start moving again yourself? What made you start moving—or what’s been stopping you lately?

I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments.